A remedy to anger and depression

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There will come a point in your life when you will achieve something and you won’t need the things you thought you desperately need.

Right now, there are things that keep us afraid. It may be deep beliefs of what we “need to have” to feel secure and complete. When we cling to these kinds of beliefs, the “need” consumes us. When it starts to consume us, “not having it” will make us angry or depressed.

The only remedy to this kind anger and depression is progress. In time, with effort toward intentional growth, we can (slowly but surely) achieve goals that bring us closer to “having it”. Once we start achieving things, we will discover something surprising: we will no longer feel the depression and anger caused by “not having it”.

It is hard to understand this lesson until we experience it firsthand.

Let go of your anger and depression. Create some progress today, and see the difference.

Author: mxi

HVD

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For a fulfilling life, we must remember that love is unconditional, but relationships are conditional.

What do I mean by this?

When we love someone, we care for their growth and welfare, no matter what the circumstance. We have the feeling of wanting to give to our loved one.

When we are in a relationship with someone, we need to be “conditional”-, meaning there are standards that both parties must meet. Without these standards, there will be slow growth, or even no growth for both parties. One may give more than they get, and the other may think that no growth is acceptable.

It is possible to feel love for someone, but realize that a relationship is not working out. It is also possible to have a relationship with someone (like in business), but not feel love. It is good to have both, together.

Not only does the conditional relationship paradigm work for romantic or personal relationships. It also works for oneself.

We must love ourselves unconditionally, caring for our own growth and welfare, no matter what. But we must also set standards for ourselves, so that we do not remain stagnant. When we set standards for ourselves, year by year, we are able to improve and give more to ourselves, and to others.

Once we understand this paradigm is applicable to ourselves, we then are able to apply this paradigm to our love relationships.

Have a happy valentines day!

Author: mxi

Creating confidence

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Continuous achievement is the sign of personal growth. Nonetheless, the mere act of attempting achievement has its own rewards.

Determined action always creates confidence.

Whether you make it or not, determined action is a step forward into something unknown. When you survive this “unknown”, your mind calms down and no longer fears this “distance”. This is what confidence is.

So, today, take a step forward with determined action. At the end of the day, you will reap confidence.

Author: mxi

Be your own safety net

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Many times in life we are afraid to take a risk. We do not go out of our comfort zones and merely keep on doing what feels safe. We end up mediocre and not doing anything great.

As imperfect people, we have the tendency to only do something new/risky if we knew that we had a “safety net” under us: that is the assurance that we would be okay even if we fail.

The truly great know that at any point in their lives, they can be their own safety net. They know that, whatever happens, they will stand back up and be strong. Even if they fail, they will gather whatever resources they have and start again. They do not need external security because they are secure in their own steadfast determination to succeed.

Ask yourself today, are you looking for a “safety net” outside of yourself? Or are you your own?

Author: mxi

Who steers your life?

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We can get caught up in so many current problems that we fail to see the big picture.

Or we can also get caught up in how life is going great now, that we fail to plan for a sustainable future.

The only way to manage it is to habitually pause momentarily to reflect.

Everyday, we should take the time to remove ourselves from our problems, remove ourselves from all our achievements; and just think forward. By doing so, we steer our lives towards a determined path, rather then letting our pain or pleasure do the steering.

Author: mxi

That initial resistance

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Do not be afraid of the initial resistance you feel when starting a new quest.

The initial resistance you feel is normal. This is your survival instinct telling you that you are no longer in your comfort zone.

You must learn to override that feeling, and fiercely lean into the task at hand. Do this diligently and you will build up the courage to push on.

When you keep on pushing on, the initial resistance will feel lighter. When this happens, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the challenges have subsided, it just means that you are now stronger.

The depth of your strength can only be explored by your courageous decision to push on.

Author: mxi

Relics of the past

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There was a time in the past, many years ago, that you did not have the things that you have right now. You may have been just a rookie of life, starting to take on responsibilities and just beginning to work towards your goals.

During that time in the past, you could have only dreamed about being where you are now. During that time, you had a certain set of beliefs, a certain set of excuses, a certain set of complaints about life.

Fast forward many years to the present moment, when things are better and when you have made progress towards your goals. Is it logical to keep on acting the same old way at the level you are at now? No.

We must learn to improve our beliefs, remove our excuses, forget our complaining. These old ways are the relics of the past, and holding on to these will keep us from getting to our future.

Author: mxi

Seek it out

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Get inspiration and motivation where you can. Whether it would be a book, a place, a person, an Instagram account.. you just have to go back to it CONSISTENTLY.

Inspiration and motivation are not one-time things. Like food, we must constantly allow these twin forces to nourish us.

If a person does not look for inspiration in life; they will do the same things over and over, and merely play small.

If a person does not look for motivation in life; they will not act on the dreams they have.

As people of character, we must seek out inspiration and motivation ACTIVELY. Without them, we cannot grow.

Author: mxi

The weight does not get lighter, you get stronger

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Anyone who engages in weight training for a long period of time, will feel progress.

They may start going to the gym with doubt in their mind. They will see the other people there, wondering if they can also reach the level of fitness of the other trainees.

After several consistent sessions, they slowly (but surely) start noticing that the weights become easier to lift. They can carry heavier weights, and with more repetitions.

What changed?

The weight doesn’t get lighter. You get stronger.

Weight training is a good metaphor for character growth. We all start with the feeling of doubt regarding our ability. We all have to start with small and light challenges before becoming adept at handling these. With diligence, our strength to carry the challenges increases, even if the actual weight stays the same.

With this understanding, we must take the initiative to carry life challenges with perseverance. It is the only way to grow and succeed.

Author: mxi

It is still there

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A week ago, during the peak of Typhoon Nona, I had a realization. At night, I usually have a pretty good view of the Ortigas skyline outside my window. On this particular evening, the rains were pretty strong and I couldn’t see a single light from any of the tall buildings of the Ortigas Center. It seemed like a whole business district had disappeared.

In fact, the Ortigas center was just there. The heavy clouds and precipitation caused the lights that I was used to see to be momentarily invisible. When the rains subsided, the sight of the skyline returned.

This reminded me of a valuable lesson. The haze means nothing. Just because you don’t see something, it doesn’t mean that it is not there.

There will be times that you will be completely disheartened and filled with stress. You will feel like crap, and your objective seems to be nonexistent.

The rewards you seek, though momentarily invisible, are still there. The fruits of your effort still exist and are waiting for you to reach them. All you have to do is keep strong, and wait for the haze to clear up. You will see it again.

Author: mxi