For a fulfilling life, we must remember that love is unconditional, but relationships are conditional.

What do I mean by this?

When we love someone, we care for their growth and welfare, no matter what the circumstance. We have the feeling of wanting to give to our loved one.

When we are in a relationship with someone, we need to be “conditional”-, meaning there are standards that both parties must meet. Without these standards, there will be slow growth, or even no growth for both parties. One may give more than they get, and the other may think that no growth is acceptable.

It is possible to feel love for someone, but realize that a relationship is not working out. It is also possible to have a relationship with someone (like in business), but not feel love. It is good to have both, together.

Not only does the conditional relationship paradigm work for romantic or personal relationships. It also works for oneself.

We must love ourselves unconditionally, caring for our own growth and welfare, no matter what. But we must also set standards for ourselves, so that we do not remain stagnant. When we set standards for ourselves, year by year, we are able to improve and give more to ourselves, and to others.

Once we understand this paradigm is applicable to ourselves, we then are able to apply this paradigm to our love relationships.

Have a happy valentines day!

Author: mxi